This past weekend  we had our second substantial snow fall.  Well, it wasn’t really substantial but it was the second time this year where I could justify wearing my recently purchased UGGS, which I think is actually Australian for “life changing footwear”.   I was pretty stoked when I woke up Saturday morning and realized that I could proudly wear my UGGS to D&W to go pick up pumpkin muffins for the kids.  I’m not one of those people who wear UGGS in 70 degree weather because I think they are fashionable, while it’s not that I don’t think they are fashionable I already have significant foot order problems when I wear practical footwear in moderately warm climates.  Honestly, I dont’ even think they should be allowed to sell UGGS in climates where they don’t see fairly regular snow and ice, the only person who gets a free pass when it comes to wearing UGGS is Tom Brady because he’s so amazing and get this, one of  Shirley’s friends actually was in a car accident when she attended U of M and Tom Brady was the other driver.  She said he was the nicest guy in the world (and that was before he discovered UGGS, just imagine what a truly amazing human being he is now that he wears life changing footwear).

Sorry, I was trying to work on getting to the point, so let me get back on track here.  So, as I pull up in the parking lot and park my Ford F-150, I excitedly jump out of my  truck eager for someone to see me in my UGGS and I slip on the ice and fall hard, real hard on my back causing my keys to go flying and me to almost scream “Man down! Man down!”   Fortunately for my pride no one was around to see me take a spill and I immediately realized the amazingness  UGGS offers in comfort and style is offset by a lack of traction and practicality for the winter terrain.

Of course I’m not giving up on my UGGS, I realize this ones on me, I should have tested my UGGS in a number of different situations to determine how I should go about traversing in them under the differing sets of circumstances.    Yes, it would probably wise for them to try and create a sole that is conducive to ice and snow but what am I going to do go buy a pair of snowmobile boots to lessen the likelihood of me falling on my keister?  Have you seen how hideous those things are?  Plus they are no where near as versatile as a pair of UGGS, you can wear UGGS to the store, work, a Star Wars movie, even a business casual event if you like.  They look great with jeans, sweat pants, or even a nice pair of flat front cords.

This whole UGGS with an F-150 really got me thinking about target markets and demographics.  Advertisers seem to want to really narrow down a specific demographic to market their merchandise effectively, sparing them from spending millions reaching a disinterested group of consumers.  I’m a market! I’m the 35 to 45 year old male who wears UGGS and drives a four wheel drive pick up truck!

Just think if the higher ups in the advertising industry discover this demographic.  I can hear them talking about it now “these guys will buy pretty much anything, they are obviously oblivious to stereo types and not concerned about what people think of them, what self respecting man, especially one driving the manliest of all vehicles, a  four wheel drive pick up, wears such feminine footwear? footwear that has no practicality in winter weather.  Also, they are buying boots that have at least a 400% mark up and trucks that sticker out at what you could purchase two minivans for, not to mention the obscenely low gas mileage.  This is the ultimate consumer, they put no thought into the utility of their purchases and have no fiscal conscience  when buying products.  Ladies and gentleman we have found the perfect consumer.  The question is, which one of our client’s do we want to benefit first with our discovery of the UGGS/4×4 demo?”

While I am excited for what my demo can do for the advertising industry, I also think it could change the truck world as we know it.  Currently  the F-150 has a number of special edition trucks for those who aren’t happy with a standard run of the mill truck.  There is the Lariat, the Platinum, the Harley Davidson edition, the Limited, and my favorite the King Ranch.  The King Ranch was designed by truck drivers who really want to stand out when they are “meeting” other men at rest stops, and driving a King Ranch tells the truck world you are happily married but quite open minded.

While all of those are nice choices for a special edition truck, why not the F-150 UGGS edition?  Imagine sheepskin seats with fleece lining the entire interior to give it that extra bit of insulation.  You could park your truck in a parking lot in sub zero temperatures, run into a store or work for a few hours  and the heat would never escape the vehicle.  Any voice commands or prompts by the truck would be in Tom Brady’s voice and the tire’s would come standard with no tread on them.  I can just see it now “Mrs. Firestone Ford or do you prefer just Mrs. Ford? I realize I had an appointment with you today to discuss the general Manager’s position with Lion’s but there’s something a bit more important I  need to cover before we get into all that.”