Shirley bought a Waverunner in 2015 and she did it in one day, she decided she wanted one on a Saturday morning and by Saturday afternoon we had a brand new Waverunner. I had nothing to do with the purchase, as hard as it is for me to do, sometimes just stepping back and staying out of it is the preferred course of action. In hindsight I would have made sure Shirley purchased one that was fast and only a two seater so I didn’t have to take two other riders with me when I went out on it. Sadly, after Shirley went through the buying process in less than 12 hours she completely abandoned the Waverunner leaving me responsible for everything that needs to be done with it. Initially, I had Fox Powersports winterize it but they don’t provide any lube when they bend you over so I opted to start winterizing it myself, thanks to a youtube video and a discussion with my buddy Dom I was able to save myself $150 a season. However, it is always touch and go at the beginning of the season, did I do something wrong? Something catastrophically wrong? Up until this year there hasn’t been an issue, but when I dropped it in the water the first time this season the thing started barking at me louder than my Australian Shepard Max when he wants my attention. “Oh shit!” I thought to myself. Turned out the check engine warning light also covers electric issues and the battery was kaput. Fox was going to do me a solid and replace it for $160 plus labor and on top of the diagnostic fee of $130, I’ve represented criminal clients who have more honor.

I scoured GR for a replacement battery and ended up ordering one online for $70. It arrived on Saturday and I attempted to put it in that afternoon only to spend an hour and a half of my time while ultimately losing one of the square nuts and having to call it a day. I am one of the most mechanically un-inclined persons on the planet and that coupled with my Bill Bixby like temper is a recipe for disaster. I believe I mentioned in a previous blog how I threw the bagging tube from my mower at the pavement of my driveway out of frustration and it came back and hit me in my face as Shirley came down the driveway. Had I continued working on the Waverunner battery a similar event was likely to unfold. Sunday I ended up grabbing 3 replacement nuts and was able to successfully connect the positive terminal to the battery without much effort. The Waverunner fired up no problem and I was relieved that I was going to finally be able to get it in the water so we could get at least 45 minutes of use out of it this summer. I texted a photo of it hooked up to my truck, or at least I thought it was hooked up to my truck, in my driveway to my buddies and headed for Green Lake. I made it about a quarter of a mile out of my driveway and down the road before getting a call from my neighbor. That wasn’t a good sign, we text once in a while but we never speak on the phone. I hesitantly answered only for him to immediately inform me that my Waverunner was in his driveway, I looked back as if it might be a different Waverunner but sure enough mine was no longer behind my truck.

Miraculously, it came to a stop on its own in the middle of his driveway and he had both his vehicles in his garage and his dog in the house at the very instance my Waverunner came sailing into his driveway. My driveway goes up a hill and his driveway is off to the side, I have no idea how it managed to turn on its own and come to a complete stop without causing damage to it, the trailer, or something else. I will say this, this is my one mulligan, if I do something similarly absent minded and dangerous, it’s not going to work out for me. While it was great to actually get the Waverunner in the water and somewhat fun to ride it with my kids and my nieces and nephews in tow, my string of terrible luck continues. I had my favorite pair of Oakley sunglasses on and had thought about leaving them on shore but thought I’d be fine. I hit a 13 foot wakeboard wave head on and it washed my glasses off and down to the bottom of Green Lake. In the past month I also have lost a pair of Oakley transition glasses (the ones that tint when you go out in the sun, yes I know I’m old), had the very same frames to said glasses destroyed initially when Parker threw them haphazardly in my backseat and they eventually fell out and were trampled, as well as had my lawn tractor’s engine blow mid mow. (I should have checked the oil prior to mowing so that is a bit on me, but I was able to talk Shirley into letting me get a zero turn so that’s a win right?)

The fact that we only have one phillip’s head screw driver probably speaks to where I am at as a do it yourselfer, and while most dad’s ask for power tools and cool shit that runs on a mixture of oil and gas my only two requests were for a 40 ounce water bottle and a cool front plate for my truck. I had the perfect 40 ounce bottle that I found at Nordstrom’s Rack but it didn’t hold up when I threw it as hard as I could against the pavement after dropping a very important set of tennis. Shirley even said to me “didn’t you have a 40 ounce water bottle?” I do have a front plate and it is, or was, of an Australian Shepard(Max is my last hope for greatness) but within two weeks it was completely white, thanks Amazon! Shirley came through with a new water bottle and a front plate for my truck along with a shirt that says “I’m not for everyone” truer words have not been spoken. The problem is the front plate is an MC for Master Craft. I own a Mastercraft boat and have owned a number of them in the past. I am a loyalist to the brand but never wanted to be that guy. What do I do? It’s mirrored and pretty cool but I have always thought having a MC license plate or emblem on your vehicle is kind of douchey, not as douchey as the 13.1 or 26.2 decals or the stick figure families, but douchey none the less. Maybe I need to drain all the oil out of it, run it, and talk her into letting me get a Ski Nautique.