The struggle is real and last week I almost hit my breaking point.  I don’t even remember what day it was nor do I know what day it is today, everything is melding into one overly saturated Corona Virus experience that can not be dissected or distinguished.  Now I like to think I have it the worst, but the reason I think that is because I had the most to lose.  I played basketball pretty much every day (sometimes twice) and my job afforded me quite a bit of freedom and flexibility.  However, the reality is that I don’t have it that bad in comparison to some people.  One of those people contacted me last week via text and our text string led to the plan to meet up at Cascade Township Park to shoot some hoops. The park has the closest thing to an indoor court you can find outdoors, with soft rims and a nice surface that includes a three point line.  As I was loading up the kids to go to the park and meet up with my buddy he texted me this; “they are taking the rims down what do you want to do?”  I thought it was a joke but called him just to make sure.  Wasn’t a joke they were taking everything down at the park that could allow a person to have fun.  The only thing that remained was the frisbee golf course, which in my opinion would not be fun even if it was the last competitive activity left on the planet.

I called an audible and had him meet me at a church parking lot where there was a basketball hoop.  This was problematic because my plan was to have the kids ride their bikes at the park, eventually leading to them telling me they were bored which would lead to me allowing them to sit in the car and play on devices.  So, taking out the part where they ride their bikes for 3 minutes and skipping right to the electronics really wasn’t that big of a deal the way I saw it.  When I got to the church parking lot there was some guy shooting buckets with his pre-pubescent son.  While I was desperate for some hoop action, me and my buddy going 2 on 2 against the father son duo was not an option.  So, we just stood outside our respective vehicles and conversed while giving them dirty looks every 3 seconds.  Eventually it worked and they left.  After hoops I dropped the kids at home and hustled to thornapple point for some golf.  While most courses are shut down the Watermark group has raised a middle finger at the governor’s office (Heil Whitmer!) and remained open to members who are willing to walk.

The next day I had to be in the office (my day is Thursdays, so the day I played one one one in the church parking lot was a Wednesday) and as it turns out my day of the week was the nicest day up to that point.  However, since there is very little going on in the criminal defense world due to a serious lack of criminals, I didn’t have a ton to do and would be able to golf another 18.  The only thing on the calendar was a zoom partner’s meeting to discuss some firm issues and catch up post Corona Virus shut down.  This is where I have to admit that Shirley was right about 3 things that I was resistant to try (obviously none of them were sexual):

• Air Pods, they are amazing, I never realized how liberating being wireless could be and now I routinely panic four to five times a day thinking I have lost them (they are so tiny).
• Apple Watch, I always attributed the smart watch to be for people who worked at the Apple Store or wished they worked there but the reality is my Apple Watch is also amazing and when I don’t have it on my wrist I feel naked.
• Audio books.  I would always tell Shirley that I preferred reading not listening, like I was somehow better than her because I actually read books not just merely listened to them (which I looked at as cheating).  However, with the lack of sports my podcast world has shrunk so I was forced to listen to an audio book as I re-painted our down stairs.  I listened to the Nix by Nathan Hill and it was fantastic.  I had tried to read it a while back and couldn’t get into it but the narrator made it a great experience.

So, why bring these three things up? While the Apple Watch has come in handy for the tracking my runs (not diarrhea but it can probably track that as well) but it also tracked how far it was to walk 18 holes (it was roughly 7 miles, but I tend to go in the woods more than the average golfer to look for balls so my mileage is a bit on the high side).  While the Apple Watch has been mostly positive there are some things about it that I don’t appreciate, like it telling me when to breathe, when to stand up (I’m driving across the state of Michigan can’t really stand right now) and is a bit passive aggressive when it thinks I am not exercising enough.  It’s a good thing it can’t monitor how much I allow my kids to be on their screens because I don’t need someone besides Shirley on my back about that, she’s relentless.

I also brought up the Apple Watch because it put me in a precarious position when I got home from golf on Thursday.  While I didn’t tell Shirley I was golfing Thursday, she knew and when I got home I told her “I walked 7 miles yesterday and 7 miles today” I immediately regretted saying this because her response was “you went golfing yesterday too?”  This whole shelter in place thing has me off my game, no way I make that misstep under normal circumstances.  This led to a discussion about how Shirley wished she would have known I was golfing due to the fact that she didn’t even realize I had dropped the kids off, her being so immersed in her work and all, which led to them not making a noise and being on their devices for at least 3 straight hours.  Admittedly, 3 straight hours on devices is not ideal but I try to look at the positives and the fact they were smart enough not to bug their mom and risk her taking the devices away and ultimately making them actually play means I am winning as a parent.  Besides me golfing again was just what the doctor ordered and I know there is no husbandry equivalent to the saying “happy wife happy life” because no one really give’s a shit about a husband being happy, but the Jansma house runs much smoother when I get some much needed me time.

This whole experience is akin to a frog in warm water.  The saying goes you turn up the water incrementally and the frog doesn’t notice it until it’s too late and they are boiled and dead.  Well, that’s what is happening right now, we are having all of our freedoms and liberties taken away incrementally and eventually they will all be gone.  Every time something is taken away (like the basketball rims at a park) I think back to Seinfeld when Newman would do something that was diabolical and meant to harm Jerry.

“WHITMER!”