This morning when I got back from hoops Shirley asked me if I would take the kids into school because they had specifically requested that I do so.  It’s not because I am a better driver, which I am, it’s not because we stop for doughnuts on the way to school, no it’s because I typically let them have my phone so that I can listen to the Free Beer and Hot Wings show on the way in.  However, Shirley knowing this said “you know I never let them have devices on the way in and we have some great conversations.”  Well, wouldn’t you know it, once we made it into my car Parker immediately asked “Dad, can we have your phone?”  I’ll be honest a part of me almost handed it over but I thought to myself “screw that!”  I”m going to make sure they don’t want me taking them to school anymore, I am going to converse with them.  I told them no and said let’s just talk.  “THERE’S NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT!” was their immediate response.  Well, we have been watching the Mandelorian, a series on Disney and we started it on Sunday night.  I’ll be honest, I dodged a bullet by turning my kids on to that show because we were quite close to watching Frozen 2 until I suggested the Mandelorian.  Now we are all hooked primarily because of baby Yoda.  The Madelorian is totally bad ass but baby Yoda is what keeps you coming back.  The funny thing is, even though I have assured Parker that baby Yoda eventually becomes adolescent Yoda (it’s gotta be awkward) and then adult Yoda and that he lives to 900, he still is concerned every episode that baby Yoda is going to be terminated.

Ultimately the Mandelorian conversation went no where and I was close to handing over my phone and admitting defeat.  However, I decided to give it one last shot and asked the kids what they talk about with Shirley on the way in to school.  Aiden said politics and immediately I thought to myself that Shirley lied to me when she said her conversations with them are interesting.  However, it probably wasn’t a lie, she listens to NPR so she may actually think politics are interesting.  The mention of politics elicited a question from Aiden that made me come to the realization that I am really old.  He asked who the presidents have been in my lifetime.  At first I thought Nixon, but I was pretty sure he resigned due to the Watergate scandal before I was born leading to our one and only President who was never elected as Vice President or president, Grand Rapid’s one and only Gerald Ford.  Jimmy Carter was next and I explained to the kids that the most significant event that occurred during his watch was the Iran hostage situation.  That involved trying to explain what a diplomat is as well as why every country in the Middle East hates us except Israel.

This conversation began to bore Parker and he said “when do I get to talk?”  Followed by “how old to you have to be to get a credit card?”  I responded that you had to be 18 and he replied I’m getting one when I am 13, he is his mother’s son just like Aiden trying to steer the conversation back to U.S. history is following in my footsteps since I ended up being a history major in college (it was a long and winding road).  Parker had somehow wrestled the floor away from his brother and had a question/statement about credit cards; “you can get a car with a credit card”.  I said not typically, it would be a huge no no in Dave Ramsey’s book, basically breaking everyone of his rules, but it is conceivable that you could do this I guess likely plummeting your credit score but on the bright side the credit card company is going to try and repossess your car if you stop making your monthly minimum payments.

I managed to refocus and told Aiden that Regan was president for 8 years but didn’t get into trickle down economics even though both my kids would instantly see how flawed such an economic philosophy would be.  I also didn’t get into Iran Contra either because I wanted them to think Republicans are the more moral of the two parties.  Moving on to George H. Bush there was little to say about his presidency and Bill Clinton there was little I could say.  Even though it wasn’t that long ago I still had to check myself and make sure that George W was in the White House for two terms, he was, proving that anything is possible and likely paved the way for the unimaginable, Donald Trump as our president.  I mentioned Barrack Obama but didn’t go into detail about him knowing that Shirley probably covered everything on his presidency with the boys.

Having hit all of the presidents and some of their highlights/lowlights Parker now piped in wondering what he could bring to college.  My response was pretty much anything as long as it is legal.  The reason he asked is because he wanted to make sure he could bring his X-box, the X-box he plans on owning in the future and that Shirley will eventually buy him because she loves video games almost as much as the kids do.  Both of them wondered if they could take pets to college and I indicated that the only pets they would likely be able to bring were either hermit crabs (ours may somehow still be alive when the kids leave for college) or fish.  What do you know, we somehow managed to make it all the way to school without a single second of screen time, what a relief, now I could just turn my brain off and get back to the Free Beer and Hot Wings show.