Friday is going to be a big day for the Jansma’s as well as many other families with school aged children, it’s the last day of school for many of the kids in West Michigan and Parker has been invited over to a friend’s “cottage”for an over night with some other friends of his.  Apparently the family has a shack on Lake Macatawa, a plane, and a boat with a basement where the kids can have pillow fights according to Parker.  In 10 years that boat basement will be used for a lot more than pillow fights.  Regardless, I like where Parker’s mind is at, make friends with the rich kids, while it will create a bit of jealousy that will be coupled with animosity down the road as Parker ages, the benefits of hanging out with a rich kid far surpass any ill will you may have for them for being born into a wealthy family.

When I was in high school I had a friend whose family was well off, he was kind of annoying and his mom was completely bonkers (so we had something in common) but he was rich so I was willing to overlook those shortcomings to get a window into the lifestyle of the well off, and his family had a satellite dish, not one of those that you put on your roof, no this thing was ginormous and looked liked something you would use to navigate an unmanned  spacecraft that was millions of miles away, we used to watch dirty channels, which in my mind was much better use.

On the way to school this week we were discussing Parker’s overnight and the question was asked about what his friend’s dad does for a living (his mom works at Amway so I wasn’t being a misogynist).  Parker piped in and said “his dad’s name is Rob and he probably rob’s banks.”  Well, I met Rob and no such luck, while I didn’t ask him what he does for a living, he doesn’t strike me as the type of guy who lives life on the edge robbing banks in dead president’s masks, surfing, and partying like Patrick Swayze did in Point Break, to say I was disappointed when I met Rob is a serious understatement.

With Parker being away with actual friends, we need to provide Aiden with the allusion that he also has friends so he invited one of his classmates over to our house for a play date.  The kid is the son of one of my buddies who I play basketball with and also occasionally go up to his cottage so I can utilize his super awesome wake surfing boat (the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree).  He also happens to be the husband of a certain “professional” photographer, but no need to rehash all of that, I never responded to her email and am hoping she has forgotten all about the photos shoot I signed up for.  So, while the kid coming over Friday is much cooler than Aiden, he has to come over for a number of obvious reasons despite the fact that he probably had much better offers on the table.

Speaking of doing something that you don’t want to do, Shirely’s entire immediate family, including my Vegan brother in law who is borderline agoraphobic, have signed up for an adventure to Yellowstone park where we will be staying in a house that allegedly sleeps 14 people.

https://evolvevacationrental.com/430143

I can already tell by the pictures that it is going to be cramped quarters in Yellowstone and the fact that I get annoyed by my wife’s family when they are staying at my house, which is significantly larger than the one we are renting, leaves me concerned about how this trip is going to play out.  I have already told my in laws that I will be blowing up at least once on this trip, if not more, so they shouldn’t be caught too off guard when it happens, but it really isn’t them that I am worried about.  It’s my neurotic brother in law.  I have tried as hard as I can to accept all of his many flaws (they are even more evident due to the fact that I am perfect) but the problem is he isn’t the type of person I would ever choose to spend time with and I am not someone he would want to spend time with, a fact that he has made abundantly clear.  Even when I have been at his fortress of solitude (his house) dropping something off or picking up one of our kids, he goes out of his way to hide so that he doesn’t have to interact with me.  So, why not spend an entire week with him, what could possibly go wrong?  You know what?  Fuck that guy, but the problem is I can’t have that attitude because it will result in to ruining a vacation that I am actually looking forward to despite some of the fairly obvious reasons I shouldn’t be.

My other brother in law who is married to Shirley’s other sister and lives in Phoenix, roughly 2,000 miles away, the brother in law whom I have interacted with more this year than the one who lives 12 miles from me, feels the same way I do. Conveniently, and out of no where, my mother in law started a group text with me, Shirley, my two brother in laws, and my two sister in laws about our upcoming trip.  My brother in law hates group texts almost as much as he hates meat and leaving his house, so it was a shock that my mother in law put him on the text string.  However, Shawn (my cool brother in law) and I saw this as an opportunity to try and convince my other brother in law that Yellowstone wasn’t the place for him.  I put a link to a Yellowstone helicopter tour and Shawn put a link to a place where you can go axe throwing near Yellowstone.  On top of that, we had already brought up Whitewater rafting as a day excursion we all could do.  Unfortunately, as of yesterday it appears that LFBIL (least favorite brother in law, not to be confused with MLFBIL most least favorite brother in law) will be going on the trip.  He had been setting the stage for a back out, but now it appears he is fully committed.  I think the only way he doesn’t go is if he somehow comes across this blog but based upon the fact there are more people going on the Yellowstone trip with me than actually read this blog, I don’t see that happening.  However, I am willing to suffer the consequences if it does.