Terrific news for all you beautiful single people out there, first of all you’re not married and if that wasn’t enough, they have established a website that caters strictly to attractive people. While this may seem shocking to some, especially to those of you who are fully aware of how ugly you are, my question is, why would anyone who is attractive need a dating website? In my mind, attractive people hang out with other attractive people, date other attractive people, and procreate with other attractive people in the hopes of creating more attractive people. (this can go wrong, some times two really attractive people are so attractive that two positives create a negative and low and behold they end up with an ugly child, it’s the equivalent of having a girl in china or anywhere else I guess, but especially in China, truly awful)
In all honesty attractive women don’t even have to try, they merely have to show up, look amazing and they will land an equally, if not more attractive than them, male counter part. What they really need to do is come up with a dating website for attractive people where they weed out the crazy ones. Now I realize this takes 98 percent of the female population out of play, but just think if there was some actual barometer for craziness and you could use that barometer as a way to filter through attractive women and make them available to men, it would be a gold mine, assuming you could find women who weren’t crazy and were actually hot, you may have a better chance of taking a unicorn ride or having a campfire with Sasquatch.
The link I have provided, and hopefully actually works (I tried to post a picture a while back and that failed miserably, damn you wordpress!) Outlines the story of Tawnie Lynn, pretty sure that’s not her birth name, great stripper name or country music singer name, but no way it’s her birth name. The poor girl tried to get on beautifulpeople.com and was rejected. Can you imagine the devastation she had to endure when she was rejected? Fortunately for her she found an amazing plastic surgeon and a glamor shots franchise willing to go on the road and take a round of photos at her apartment complexes pool. In all honesty, she can’t feel good about her natural beauty not being quite enough to make the grade and having to resort to major cosmetic surgery as her way in to beautiful people.com. Furthermore, the phenomenal job the plastic surgeon did on her breasts undoubtedly distracted the judges enough that they probably didn’t even look at her face, so if she ever makes the mistake of sending in a pic that doesn’t show her boobs hanging out of a bikini she may end up having her membership revoked.
What gets me, is that a lot of these people, similar to other sites, probably pick out photos that don’t look anything like the person actually appears in real life. So, when the date actually comes about and the other party shows up it’s the ultimate bait and switch. I use to get subjected to this on a fairly regular basis when I was on Match.com and eventually learned that short dates such as grabbing a drink are the way to go in case you need to implement an exit plan. (My pictures were extremely forthright, I didn’t post pictures with a hat on or a hairpiece, I never tried to misconstrue my hair situation and lead a potential date to the conclusion that I wasn’t follicley challenged) You commit to dinner that’s at least an hour of your time, a drink can cost as little as ten to fifteen minutes. “I’m sorry, that was my mom, I completely forgot that we do a ball room dancing class at Arthur Murray the first Tuesday of every month, I gotta go”
Now here is an actual excerpt from the article that needs to be discussed:
The most often cited reason for members being removed from the site were piling on the pounds and ‘graceless’ ageing.
More than 500 Brits, the second largest nationality, were among those axed.
The people behind the website say they cull has sent a ‘very clear message’ to its good-looking members: ‘you don’t just need to be beautiful to join; you need to stay that way, or you are out.’
The global website periodically reviews the suitability of all its members, to make sure that quality is maintained.
Beautiful People is run by married couple Greg and Genevieve Hodge and was started in 2003. Since then there have been over 7.5million people rejected from the site.
First of all, graceless aging? What exactly does that mean? The unwillingness to submit your body to major cosmetic surgery, or partake in a monthly regimen of botox and other age reversing treatments? “He was a hell of a guy, and you know what, he aged with grace, not many people have that said about them at their funeral, what a guy, here’s to the memory of Tom.” Secondly, is it a real surprise that Brits were tossed out more than any other nationality? They are an overwhelmingly ugly people with terrible teeth. If they included accent and used that as one of the factors in allowing people to become members it may override their over all ugliness, but it’s not. In all honesty, I contemplated acquiring a British accent because a British accent is an instant panty dropper. Not sure why American women fall for British accents but they do, it’s a fact.
Furthermore, who is on this panel of reviewers who gets to determine the suitability of the members and the continuing suitability of members? Obviously Adam Levine from Maroon Five and Justin Timberlake, but who else is beautiful enough to have enough standing in the looks department to have denied admission to 7.5 million people?
Here’s the deal, while I probably could have pulled off a membership to this site with the help of at least $100,000 in cosmetic surgery, I didn’t discover this site back in the day when I was single, although it would have been fun to try and get in just to see how the entire process works. I discovered the site because they played a a news segment on free beer and hot wings about the site. On the segment they discussed the site as well as an actual live social event for beautiful people.com where a woman was told to leave because she didn’t live up to her picture. The organizer of the event said “I could just tell she was really nervous about being there and she understood that she didn’t really belong.” Not sure why anyone would submit themselves to this monumental form of rejection unless they had a myriad of psychological disorders. I remember high school and the overall awfulness of it and there’s no way I would set up adult me for the kind of rejection high school me suffered. Granted, I don’t have acne, braces, and a mullet anymore (I have tossed around the idea of growing a skullet), and it does take quite a bit to hurt my feelings, but I’m sure a rejection from the beautiful people website could easily send me down a path of self despair and self loathing.
Here is one more excerpt from the article that is worthy of comment:
Letting unattractive people populate the site would compromise the very concept for which BeautifulPeople.com was founded.’
He said that, as ruthless as it may sound, the website has been ‘kind’ in breaking the news to former members.
Mr Hodge added: ‘Each has received an email encouraging them to re-apply when they are back looking their best.
‘They are also offering free mentoring with one of the site’s beauty mentors, who have volunteered to give their time to help improve the looks, style and confidence of anyone who wants join or rejoin the site.’
I suppose it would be like letting someone who couldn’t grow vegetables or milk a cow join Farmersonly.com or someone who doesn’t have kids join MILFmatch.com, but it still sounds a bit too inclusive even if beautiful people are better than everyone else, and believe me they are. Also of note is that they are kind about rejecting you, it’s similar to when an attractive chick use to tell me “I think we should just be friends.” Hold on here, how am I suppose to get into your pants if we are just friends? unless you want to be get into each other’s pants friends, I can live with that, actually that’s even better. Granted, to their credit they were trying to be kind, but who wants to be friends with a girl?
Lastly, what if your the applicant who isn’t offered the opportunity to utilize a beauty mentor? That’s got to sting. You’re so ugly that not even one of our beauty mentors could turn things around enough for you to be admitted as a member to our site. Oh well, I think I will go ahead and start a dating site for ugly people called uglypeople.com since there seems to be a lot more of them around, wait a minute they already have those sites they are called tinder, match.com, and e-harmony.
serenitynowinsanitylatercom 