There has been a bit of publicity given to the fact that men in Hollywood are paid more than women who have similar roles.  Recently, Jennifer Lawrence took up the cause to fight for equal pay for leading ladies in Hollywood.  Good for her, wouldn’t want her to have her fly a charter when she could have her very own G8 like most leading actors do.  In addition to Jennifer Lawrence bringing this gross inequity to light, the reboot of the X-files also demonstrated the inequality that exists in the Hollywood work place.  Fox was planning on paying David Duchoveney a higher salary for his role as Mulder than Jillian Anderson for her role as Scully.  Fortunately, Fox came to their senses, realizing neither one of them has done anything noteworthy since the original X Files and they are both being compensated similarly.

So, what’s the point of all of this, I am going to address the question of who is better in the work place.  First of all, I am going to do this by addressing cons.  I’m not really a guy who focuses on the pros and I really don’t think there are many of them when it comes to human beings in the work place or society in general.  One of the biggest things that distinguishes men from women is sports.  Men for some reason have gravitated towards sports and it often times consumes them to the point that it interferes with their work, family life, and causes them to be grumpy a majority of their adult life.  Fantasy football, NCAA Tournament pools, searching for tickets to sporting events online while at work, these are all things that interfere with a man’s productivity in the work place.  I know of no women who participate in any of these endeavors and if they are out there I would guess they waste a fraction of the time that men do at work figuring out if they should start Marshawn Lynch or Adrian Peterson.

I have often wondered what would happen if someone came up with the ingenious idea of outlawing collegiate and professional sports.  I’d like to say my life revolves around my family (I laughed out loud when I wrote that) but it doesn’t, it revolves around the Detroit Lions, Michigan Wolverines, Detroit Tigers and a number of other sports’s teams I have absolutely no input in or control over.  Makes perfect sense that I would invest so much in something I have so little to do with, right?  I spend quite a bit of time following these teams, during their respective seasons I read articles about them on the Detroit News website, watch their games, and listen to sports radio once in a while (we’ve got Steve from Grandville on the line, what do you think about the current state of the Lion’s Steve?  Seriously, who gives a shit what Steve thinks?  How does local sports radio even exist?  It’s awful)

My wife to the contrary has absolutely no interest in sports, in fact it annoys her and she is constantly disappointed to discover that when one season is over another one begins.  “Is this the last game of football?”

“Yes,the Super Bowl is always the last game, they use to have the Pro Bowl, oh, never mind, it is but basketball is still going on and then there’s baseball right after that, and then we are back to football….”

So, my question is, what do women do with all of their time?  If you took sports out of my life it would free up, on the average, 47 hours per week.  You can’t tell me they are actually working and spending productive time accomplishing actual meaningful activities the equivalent of the time I spend consumed by sports, unpossible I say! (unpossible should be a word)  I wish I had some insight in to what they do, but I’m too busy paying attention to sports to figure out what it is they actually do.

Furthermore, Shirley and I share pretty much equally in house hold tasks, other than she does all of the grocery shopping and not because I won’t, she seems to thoroughly enjoy it.  Maybe that’s what women do, they shop, I think I’m on to something.  Regardless, I cook, I do laundry (I feel like I am the only one who knows there is a lint screen in the dryer, every time I pull the thing out it looks like we tried to dry a labrador retriever, and where does all that lint come from? wouldn’t you think after you have put you clothes through the the wash and the dryer a couple times lint would no longer be generated by your clothes?)

On top of the sports thing, men also seem to be quite a bit consumed by their constant pursuit of sex, which can’t help but spill over into the work place with the advent of the internet.  Those men fortunate enough to work in an environment that has unfiltered internet access are probably the least productive human beings on the planet.  Someone I know and may or may not work with sends out football picks every week and he includes pictures of women in various states of dress and undress.

Not sure what “Ron’s” method is, but I’ve always assumed Ron found women who were alumni of the colleges he included in his games of the week.  I am currently running a playoff football gambling pool, and since Ron is in the pool I thought I would include a picture. Originally it was going to be a joke and I was searching for the lead character of the show Girls, Leena Dunham, topless.  Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, I couldn’t locate such a picture.  So, I ended up settling on a topless picture of Kim Kardashean, say what you want to say about Kim, but they are real and they are spectacular.  I don’t often search for this type of stuff, but I can imagine that if you did, it could pretty much shoot your entire work day pretty much every day of the week.  So the distractibility of men is definitely a con.

So, while women don’t have sports or porn to distract them, I can’t imagine women sitting at their desk looking for dick pictures, I’m sorry but weiners are not attractive no matter how you slice it, and are definitely not worth the risk of a trip to the human resource office for a lecture on how penises can’t be tolerated in the work place.  I also can’t imagine women being preoccupied by the thought of having sex with their husbands all day at work like most men are, along withe hoping that it will happen, which I am sure isn’t something that ever enters into a women’s though process.  What is a con for women is how often they go to the doctor.

I am pretty sure most women average at least one doctor’s appointment per week.  I am not saying this is a flaw or a negative, prevention is way more cost effective in my mind, but when you are constantly going to the doctor, even though you aren’t wasting any other time while at work, it’s going to cut into your productivity.  I haven’t been to the doctor in at least three years, and none of the men I have worked with have ever visited the doctor as frequently as the women I have shared the work place with.  Maybe if women paid as much attention to their naughty parts as men do theirs their, trips to the doctor would be less frequent.  (Shirley just came in and read me the riot act about broaching this topic, but I’m sticking to my guns, this is a broad generalization and not specifically geared towards any women in particular)  I guess that’s a pro for penises, that and they allow you to pee while you stand up, they require much less maintenance than a Vagina.  I think there is a correlation there, just not sure what it is.  What I do know is that with the advances in artificial intelligence robots win hand downs regardless of their gender.