I have been feeling mentally fatigued lately with all of the pressure from the holidays and the need to keep everyone on my Christmas wish list happy.  Normally I don’t go to the Doctor, I think it is a Jansma thing, my uncle Jon actually went twelve years between visits to the dentist and I hadn’t been to the doctor since the spring of 2012.  In all honesty, I didn’t even know who my doctor was and who I should schedule an appointment with so I obtained a new doctor (and MD of course, I don’t even think those DO’s are real doctor’s, probably similar to an  attorney who get’s their degree from a law school that isn’t accredited by the ABA)  Anyways this is how things went with the doctor:  (Me is me and MD is the doctor)

MD: “So, the nurse checked your vitals and did the usual tests and it looks like you are in amazing shape, if I had to say so by just looking at your chart and based on how you present in that paper gown, you are an incredible physical specimen for someone your age.”

Me “Thanks Doc, is it ok if I call you Doc, I’m a doctor myself, a doctor of the law, I have a JD but my dream was to be an MD, not a Do.”

MD “That’s fine if you want to call me Doc, so what’s troubling you?”

Me “Nothing physical, but lately I have actually been feeling compassion for other people, I’m concerned that I might be turning into a L..lll, I can’t even say it out loud, a liberal.”

MD “let me ask you this, when you see people at major intersections panhandling, do you give them money?”

Me “Let me tell you this Doc, it hasn’t gotten that bad, not nearly that bad, I actually work downtown and I have actually had people approach me and ask me for money, I had one guy who claimed he needed gas to get to Traverse City, so I gave him five bucks, saw him back in the  same spot the next day with the same story, I learned my lesson, now when my kids ask for money for candy I don’t even give it to them because I’m not sure they will spend it on candy, and as far as the panhandlers on street corners, I just look the other way and pretend they aren’t there.”

MD “That’s good, I think we are at a point where you are still treatable, what about Syria, that seems to be a hot topic these days, what do you think about the Syrian refugees, should we let them into the country?”

Me “Of course not, why would we do that, as far as I’m concerned we shouldn’t let anyone in this country, let’s build that wall, but of all the people trying to get into this country we need to make sure the Syrian refugees don’t get in here.  Seriously, if they wanted to live in the United States they should have been born here like I was, not my fault they were born in that god forsaken part of the world”

MD “Have you seen the pictures and read about the conditions they are facing, terrible conditions, these people  need somewhere to go, even the French have let them into their country after all they have went through.  Besides, I’m pretty sure your ancestors weren’t from here, someone in your lineage had to immigrate form another place.  On top of all that we have an incredibly thorough screening process when it comes to allowing people in on visa”

ME “As far as the French are concerned, they probably staged the attacks and then let the refugees in, that was likely premeditated so that the rest of the world wouldn’t continue to think they were a bunch of A holes.  As far as my ancestors coming here, I’m Dutch, they probably were paying the Dutch to come over back then so that they could improve the countries’ citizenry.  I haven’t looked into this, but I think immigration law allows for the Dutch to immigrate to the US whenever they want and they will immediately be granted duel citizenship, they don’t have to get through all the red tape other people need to get through”

MD “That’s an interesting perspective you have on the French attacks, have you had a psychological evaluation in the recent past?”

Me “I have done the online IQ tests and I will say this, I may add genius to my letter head right behind JD, but I haven’t actually had a professional determine my level of intelligence or determine anything else to do with my mental make up.  Do you need to know anything else from me to determine a treatment plan?”

MD “No, I think I have heard quite enough.  I want you to get in touch with this Psychiatrist and he will take it from here, also, as far as your opinions on immigration and the poor, I’d probably keep those to yourself”

Me “Whatever you say Doc, this is covered under that new Obama Care thing, right?”