I have finally done it.  I have started my own blog and am now on my way to reaching millions, wait a minute maybe I should temper my expectations, I will hopefully at the very least reach my Facebook friends and hopefully in turn the friends of my Facebook friends, snowballing into a readership of at leas 72 people.  Some of you may get the Seinfeld reference that I have used in the address of my blog.  In all actuality I have been writing a blog for quite some time but it has been in the form of emails that I have sent to various people I am friends with detailing the nuances of my everyday life and the observations I make raising my two kids, playing sports, working, or merely putting together my take on society in general and more specifically pop culture.   My writing is one of two ways I am able to maintain my sanity as I go through life as an angry Dutchman (that’s what some of my friends have endearingly referred to me as, due to my inability to keep my cool in certain situations)  Most often my patience is tested when I am participating in something competitive such as pick-up basketball, golf, bowling (yes, sad to say but I am in a bowling league and my competitive nature has caused me to lose my cool at the bowling alley on an occasion or two) or dealing with my children Parker and Aiden who are 2 and 5 respectively.  My other primary way to maintain my sanity is by drinking, just kidding, I try to exercise on a daily basis as a release and typically that is an effective way to deal with the daily stresses of life.

Most people who know me would question my claim of having daily stresses since I have my own legal practice with three partners and am typically at the gym, on the golf course, or water skiing more than anything else (don’t tell my wife, my partners, or my clients).  In all reality working as a criminal defense and family law attorney has its stressful moments due to the fact that you are often times required to fix other people’s mistakes and make them happy even if there is no solution to the problems they  have created for themselves.  Honestly, I don’t have too much to complain about but I like to describe myself as the victim and paint my life to be a never ending string of trials and tribulations.  So, what should a blog about nothing consist of?  In all reality it will consist of whatever I feel like it should consist of but I will try to keep it light hearted and to the point.  (my critics claim that I can get a bit long winded in my emails and that it sometimes comes off as a rant, and my wife, who has obviously never seen the movie Office Space, doesn’t appreciate my use of the term “no talent ass clown” in my writing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7DdyChR8JU (this is suppose to be a link to a clip from Office Space where the term no talent ass clown is first coined, I mean, I’m creative but not that creative, but you know who is that creative, Mike Judd)  so I will do my best to refrain from using that phrase.

The beauty of having your own blog is that you don’t have to answer to anyone and are free to write about whatever topics you feel are relevant and worth addressing.  Some of you may be familiar with the online magazine Grantland that was owned by ESPN and shutdown last month.  I frequently read their articles but the site’s founder, Bill Simmons, had a falling out with ESPN and was fired from the company.  The writers on the site were obviously constrained from addressing certain topics and Bill Simmons was suspended for a period by ESPN for his opinions about Roger Goodell.  Grantland is just one example of writers having to live with in the constraints of their editors, employers, and sponsors.  This generally makes for writing that is unable to reach it’s fullest potential because certain things have to be left unsaid.  The only thing inhibiting my writing is my wife and her distaste for certain things I write which she deems inappropriate or politically incorrect. (I actually considered publishing the site under the pen name Randy Coitus)  For example, Grantland was a sports and pop culture site and they had weekly recaps on the show Game of Thrones.  While their recaps were generally good, they were more focused on the critical aspects of the show, whereas my recaps were strictly for entertainment purposes and not a critique making them much more fun and interesting.

So, just to give you an idea where this thing could go I have written blog/emails about the following topics:

• The need to implement the concussion protocol at mall play lands
• Game of Thrones series recaps
• Why Justin Verlander doesn’t really care if he’s good anymore
• The alarming amount of elderly naked men who are constantly present at the gym where I am a member, seriously they have no shame.  For godsakes how hard is it to put a towel on, I realize it still won’t fully cover your sagging testicles, but it’s a start)
• The recent trifecta of life changes I have gone through (purchasing Uggs, Admitting my love for Maroon Five, and drinking Starbucks cold brew)
• The constant struggle between husbands and wives due to the fact that men think about sex 99 percent of the time (at least I do0  and women think about how they can avoid having it 99 percent of the time (at least my wife does, she’s always waiting me out hoping I will go to bed, she’s even gone to the point of watching DVR’ed episodes of Masterpiece Theatre which made me concerned that she was about to enter menopause).
• My trials and tribulations as a lions fan
• Interesting situations I have run into in the courtroom and goofy things my clients have done (I haven’t violated attorney client privilege, but I will say this, I had one divorce client who used he and his wife’s tax return to purchase a Boa Constrictor, interesting choice to say the least and probably shed some light as to why they were getting divorced)
• Game changing underwear.  (there are actually tiers of men’s designer underwear, which I may get into at some point in this whole blog process)
• How I would likely have them do an amber alert if I lost my phone but probably wouldn’t if I lost my kid. This was actually a post on Facebook where I used the phrase disconnect to connect and thought the entire Facebook world would see my post.  Little did I know that my wife had set my Facebook to send my posts to only me.  Why do they have that setting?  Why would you only post stuff on Facebook that only you can see?  Does that make any sense?  I kept checking my post looking for likes and comments and it was crickets.  Ultimately, I figured out what the problem was.

Future topics that I will likely address at some point in this blog if my wife doesn’t make me shut it down. (me starting a blog was actually her idea and i’m sure she will rue the day she suggested it to me)

• Is there such a thing as a dork gene? and if your child has it do you foster it or try to make it go away?
• If you’re not handicap is it wrong to use the handicap restroom or even the handicap shower at the gym, and why are there so many handicap parking spots?  It seems like there are an inordinate number of handicap parking spots and while the handicap license plate is primarily used to identify those who can park in handicap spots it also is effective in identify people who are on the roadway who are terrible drivers)
• Elf on a shelf for husbands
• An expose on a guy who is happily married disguising himself as a single guy so he can get the details on this whole tinder thing.
• How smart phones have revolutionized going to the bathroom (when is the last time you saw a magazine in someone’s bathroom)
• The idea of a mercenary for hire whose sole job is to fire people.  (I would love that job)
• Why the emergency vet I went to had a special waiting room for cats and how pathetic cat owners are (if you die your cat will eat you, your dog won’t, that’s a fact I read it on the internet)
• The demise of the spelling bee and how the omish will be the only ones competing because regular kids are too lazy and now have spell check.

I have decided to go ahead and get this thing rolling with a post about of all things, the Detroit Lions.  Now, I don’t want to turn people off who aren’t interested in sports by writing about sports, but this is really about much more than sports and it is likely one of a handful of blogs that will actually discuss sports.  So, jump on board and read away.  I welcome feedback if there is a way to give me feedback and I if you enjoy what you read pass it along.